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Men Are from Mars

In: Business and Management

Submitted By losthare199
Words 1114
Pages 5
Introduction

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus was written by marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray. He provides a unique and practical way for men and women to communicate effectively. This allows them to relate better by acknowledging the differences between them. The book offers real life stories that entertains the reader, but also allows them to gain insight about the opposite sex. The book focuses on the differences between men and women. Not only does the book offer examples of how men and women react differently, but it offers suggestions on how to communicate more effectively (Gray, 1992).
Summary
This book was recognized by New York Times as the number one best seller in 1995. The knowledge gained from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is not only beneficial for personal relationships, but it can also be utilized in the professional setting as well. The knowledge that is demonstrated in this book can be applied to all arenas of one's life. This book allows men and women to recognize the differences between communication styles; which is one of the most important factors to have in order to work effectively (Gray, 1992).
Definitions
John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus conveys through several definitions. One definition explains how men go to their “caves” when they stress or de-stress. Men have a tendency to become withdrawn and want to be left alone. Women on the other hand talk about issues. She seeks relief by talking the situation out and seeking understanding (Gray, 1992). The next concept is “Mr. Fix-it”. When a woman is troubled about a situation, she just wants to talk about it. When he hears the problem, he feels this is his time to give advice and provide a solution. During this time, the woman does not want a solution; she is just venting what has occurred (Gray, 1992).
Themes
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus maintains that there are substantial psychological disparities between men and women. While Gray (1992) deals with interpersonal relationships, he also explains the differences between men and females and how to accept the differences. Females speak metaphorically to fully express themselves. Men on the other hand, men literally mean what they. For example, look at these following dialogue:
Women: “We never go on dates.”
Men: “That's not true, we went on a date last Friday.” When a woman says "we never go on dates" she does not mean never. It is her way of expressing herself that she wants to go on a date with the man. Men on the other hand translate it as literally never and thus the reply would probably make the partner feel even worse off.
Major Concept There are two major themes in Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It touches upon how men and women deal with stress, and how men and women speak and interpret differently. When it comes to men and women conversing with each other, an invisible barrier is created. Women speak in metaphors, generalizations, and emotionally. For example, Venus asks, “do I look fat?” She does not expect the word fat taken literally. Using the word fat is just a way of expressing the frustration she is feeling. When men speak, it is very literal and they interpret women in the same literal way. One of the most challenging things for men is to correctly interpret and support a woman when she is expressing her feelings. Male behaviors can make a woman feel rejected (Gray, 1992). Depending on the thought process of the Martian, his responses, and actions are perceived as “Cavemannish” (Gray, 1992). A man will first assess an issue or problem by considering how he can solve it alone. Having to depend on other is not necessary. To minimize stress, men retrieve to his cave. Another major concept is the art of active listening. Men and women need to learn how to listen, interpret, and respect each other’s feelings. This can create an atmosphere where communications becomes easier and stronger. Communication plays a vital role in any relationship, culture, or an organization. According to Gray (1992), one must listen and work hard to accomplish this. Gray's (1992) principal message is that excellent communication matters between male and females. In order to have a good communication, men and women have to understand one another. There are plenty of techniques that men and women can use to make their relationships much happier. He asserts that it is a failure to understand how the other communicates, which causes difficulties within relationships. He has empirical evidence repeated throughout the book, that understanding and communication has changed and rescued interaction between individuals (Gray, 1992).
Summary
The book was thought provoking and very enlightening. It has definitely brought attention to me about communications between men and women. As I read the book, I discovered through several concepts the mistakes that I have made in communicating with females personally and professionally. Anyone who reads this and adheres to it will not only obtain a wealth of knowledge but a better way of communication within themselves. Communication is a very important aspect in relationships. The successful functions of relationships are based on good communication. This book is an enlightening because it offers various suggestions for improving relationships in couples. It is imperative to understand the communication style of the opposite gender. Gray (1992) suggests that women want their problems to be acknowledged. On the other hand, men want solutions to their problems. It is imperative that women and men establish good communication. The basis of analysis is that Dr. Gray has provided insightful and guidance for understanding the differences between the sexes.
Conclusion
Men and women typically use different strategies in communication. In general, women's linguistic behavior is disadvantageous compared to men's. Gray (1992) has attempted to demonstrate this fact, through different scenarios throughout his book. Men and women differ in their communicative competency, and their conversational interactions. Some of the major differences include vocabulary, swearing, self-disclosure, intimacy issues, questions, nonverbal behavior, verbal fillers, and workplace attitudes. In the book there are different analogies and metaphors to explain the distinct differences between men and women. According to Gray (1992), these differences need to be accepted and appreciated in order to have fulfilling and successful relationships.

Reference
Gray, J. (1992). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus: A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. New York: Harper Collins.
Venus and Mars. (n.d.). Retrieved June 15, 2010 from http://home.marsvenus.com/…...

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